I'm lost and stupid without you.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just want to make out with him forever
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
