I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
