dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
