rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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