he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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