Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
