Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
