That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
