Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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