Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
