you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
