i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
