I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
