Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
