Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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