I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
