Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
