Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
