Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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