idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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