even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
