her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
A+ Viking dick
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
