True but thats because hes a fetus.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize