Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
