What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
