i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
