how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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