I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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