dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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