she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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