Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
