You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
