See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
