she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
