The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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