Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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