It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
