You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
