Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
