are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
