I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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