On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
