i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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