Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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