doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
