And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
