Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
