Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Randomize
