So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
