Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
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